Experience on OkCupid

These days it’s been really hard to even start dating somebody. I have a hard time even getting myself motivated talking to most people. I’ve had a lot of situations that’s cause me to distrust people and I’ve been slowly wanting to get back into something. However the situation is still fresh in my mind and I don’t want to be one of those people that talk negative all the time. So I have been slowly to talk to people because of that. I’m not a negative person but I just don’t want to give other people that impression. And another reason why I’m feeling this way right now is because I’m going through a lot of stress and it’s not fair for me to bring somebody else into that world. I have been doing everything I possibly can to improve my situation. One thing cool is that I have my own place no more roommates!

Now that I have my own place it would be nice if I had company over. However I do not want one night stands.  I want something more solid. It would be nice if somebody spend the time to get to know me. When I first got to the area that I’m living at it felt like I made a lot of friends at once. But after some time it seems like they had lost interest because I was not so new anymore. And lately I’ve been a little bit more guarded because of that. And that’s kind of how some of the relationships I’ve had on OkCupid is gone. Guy’s first talked about what they’re interested in as far as Hobbies hiking and other things. Talk about life stuff past relationships and what are they looking for. However after they get to meet you and they get a little taste they’re not so much interested anymore. This is have been my experience so far with OkCupid. And now when I’m looking at the site it looks like I’m running to my friends who have profile as well on there. So it looks more unlikely that I’m going to actually find somebody who’s got an interest in me that I haven’t already ran into. Which is okay because I’ve been thinking for a while that I’m going to get back to doing things that I did when it was just me. Going hiking alone, painting, knitting, crocheting, comedy or whatever interest that I think of tomorrow.

 

Being Angry is Silly!!!!

Have you ever found yourself apologies to someone who made you upset in the first place?  Yes, this has happen to me many times. In the past, I would have done this.

Many years ago when I was marry to my ex husband. This would happen a lot.  I would come to him about a concern I had with him and he would get angry for me making something to him that seem like a small thing a big deal.  Of course to me it was something that I felt important to the point of bringing it to his attention.  However, he would get angry with me for wasting his time which I would end up apologies to him for it and the problem would go unsolved and I would feel worst about it.

Now I am at a different place in my life and had counselor to address the verbal abuse that I receive from my ex husband.  When I am in simpler situation, I only apologies when I really did something wrong not because I made someone upset.  The idea that making someone upset is a sin is just silly.  People get upset over the weather changing.  A good example is when  a business man is in the rust to his next meeting; however, on the way to the meeting it is raining cats and dogs.  He show up to the meeting soaking wet.  The business man is upset because it had to rain on the day of his important meeting.  It is silly to be upset with the weather because it cannot be control.  It is also silly when someone is trying to be honest with you and bring you their concerns.

It can be hard to deal with someone who get angry with you for bring something to their attention that they do not want to address.  You could try asking them when would be a good time to talk, however, if they are anyone like my ex-husband than they would not want to do that. If they believe what you are trying to talk to them is pointless, then they will fight you every time.

The only solution I have found with this is to move on and leave them behind.  Ignoring the problem is just going to make things harder on you.  If that person does not want to work with you to make it better than that just an unhealthy relationship.  It take two to make a successful relationship.  And this apply to all type of relationship such as romances, business, friendship, parents, and etc. When one part of the relationship only want everything to go their way and not think about how the other feel than it will fail.

Sorry that it have been a while since I post.  I have not been dating much so I don’t have a lot to write about.  The reason I am writing today is because I had a closes friend I got upset with him how he was acting and yell at him for it but it was bad timing on my part.  And now he refused to talk about it and getting really ugly with me over it. I had to move on because he does not want to make up with me over it.

Dating have not been going well for me.  I go on less dates now because it is hard to meet people willing to meet up for the first time in a public place. So I have been more focus on my business: www.mariahargis.com.

You can also follow me on Twitter at @hargis_maria.  I have been creating an ink art every day for the month of Oct. However, I miss two days because I have to deal with personal issues.

New Blog Check it out!

I created a new blog call “Little Elf in Big Pond of Drama, The Comic Industry.”

Check it out at the link below:

“Little Elf in Big Pond of Drama, The Comic Industry

Update and Why I have been away.

Sorry that I have been away for so long.  The last few years I was working a job that was not kind toward their employee.  I was trying to live my life and work on my business on the side. However, that was not working for me. They end up firing be over a stupid chair.  Yes, a stupid chair because they would not fix my chair in my office and lecture me about using someone else chair.  It turn into a big  harassment from my boss and they decide to fire me because I would not let my boss talk down to me.

However, it was good news, for I took my 401K out and starting my business Maria Hargis Art.  I am now working toward my dreams of becoming a epic comic book writer.  I will be publishing my first comics series Angie’s Adventure in Oct 2019 under the brand new graphic novel and comics publishing company call Zazu Zine + Comix Publishing location in Richmond, VA.  It is the first of kind of the east coast.

I have created my own website call www.mariahargis.com.  I have on it a blog, event, and product page.  I have been teaching myself graphic designs and taking my art to the next level.  In fact, many of the the hiking trips I took in NC have inspired me to paint beautiful scenery on canvas and I have taking many of the painting in make a new design using word art to create beautiful T-shirts.

Which bring me to my next point, I have re-design my Etsy shop as well.  My Etsy shop is call Maria Hargis Art.  I am using the Etsy platform right now because it have been hard trying to get traffic to my website.  I have been trying my best to try to grow my audience for my business which is really hard.

In fact, I have a YouTube Channel call Maria Hargis Art.  This is my latest video I have post on YouTube.  I give a update to my business and what inspired me to create beautiful art.

I am currently working on a curriculum for online courses. I am looking at a couple of online course platforms.  I looking into teaching others how to make comics, teaching others alternate software program from Adobe for graphic designs such as Affinity Designer.  Also, I am looking at teaching others how to make their own acrylic paints. For I am traditional artist after-all. I have been painting for more than twenty years.

Again, I am sorry for being away for so long.  Feel free to leave comment and tell me what you think.  I love to heard from you your thoughts and feeling on the matter.

It is My Choice in Who I Date

Everyone have their preference in what type of guy or girl they date. You would think everyone understand this, nope. I prefer not to date overweight people, obese. I will tell you why. I enjoy hiking and doing outdoor activities. So I would prefer someone with staminade for physical activities. Someone who is obese does not have the energy to hike 6 miles. The whole point of dating is to found someone compatible with you. So I had a friend who would get upset with me for choosing not to go out with fat guys. In fact he call me fat and say because i was overweight i was a hypocrite (never call any woman fat that is his biggest mistake). His point is many women are missing out on great sex with fat people. However, I don’t care about any of that. I care more about if I can get along with them. I would get bored with them, if everytime I asked, “hey, do you want to go down to the river with me?” And they say, “Sorry, if that involve a lot of walking, count me out.” I know what I enjoy doing and it would be nice to do those same thing with the person I date. The trust came out, he was still hang over me turning him down. And he was talking with me hoping I would change my mind. However, he does not like being out in the sun when I love going to the beach. I have try many times to explain it to him that I am not just looking to have sex with someone. I am looking for something long term and they have to be compatible with me. He is clearly not compatible with me. I thought we could just me friends but I guest not.

One Existing

It may feel like a small world but it is a very large world. In fact, my existing is feeling very small. You thing with friends surrounding you feel like you have a place, i don’t. I guess what i am dealing with my existing being erase. It have most likely happen in my kids lives with my ex husband marrying a women with the same birthday as mine. And i don’t just mean day, day and year. He have made my kids call her mom and he does not allow them to talk with me. I don’t know if it is possible to erase one existing but it sure do feel like it.  It is a hard thing to bare. I try to surround myself with friends but it is hard founding friends who do not have an agent such as want sex or used you for something else. And than family members want me to be there for them because they can’t get along with other family members. It is like people look at you and think you are some kind of robot that can do it all. So yes, it look like my existence maybe faded away.

Watch “Sperm donation machines” on YouTube

Everytime a man random asked me to have sex with them, my response will be here:

They don’t want a relationship with a woman, they just want something to help them go off. Because a relationship mean you have to get to know what they like and dislike. I am sorry, I am not a tool. I am a person and I am not easy.

Founding a New Love

I know you maybe thinking I found the love of my life by the title of this post…I have found my love as a performer. Wednesday night I performed as Road Kamelot from D Gray-Man anime series on stage. It was so much fun. I made my costume and props. I did a dance part, comedy sketch in Japanese, and sing. I truly felt over joy being on stage and performance. Also as i was making the costume, i felt like my old self that I had a purpose. I had found my drive and i am still on cloud ten. I want to explore more characters and put my own spent on them. Also, i am so greatful to mentor and friends who have supported me.

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For the people who read my OkCupid profile, now you know why i want a longer message. I work a 40 hour week job and i am working on project that is related to me performance. I am a very busy person. However, i do found time to have fun with friends.

Off Topic: Newest Creation

I am so proud of my latest work. A friend request it and it came out so great. You can found all my artwork and dolls at http://facebook.com/pages/Maria-Hargis/436046606532347. If you would like request me make you anything, please message thought the link or comment here.
Deadpool is so awesome!!!

Deadpool

Getting Really Tire of Guys Hiding Their Intention

About a month ago, I met this guy on OkCupid and I happened to see him before somewhere in my social circle. So we started talking and chatting on OK Cupid and we decided that to go out on a date at a bar that we both are very familiar with. We got chatting and talking and it turned out pretty well so we decided to go on a second date and go see a movie. And after the movie we decided to go get some drinks. We talked about what we want in a relationship and I explain to him that I’m looking for something meaningful. Explain to him that  I have been having a lot of guys come to me he wants casual encounters which I’m really tired of that and I don’t want that. He explained to me that is the last relationship he was in  there was a girl who was polygamy  but she only came to him when she wants sex  and he wanted a romantic relationship with her. I explained to him that’s exactly what I’m looking for a romantic relationship. He walked me to my car and that’s when it got sour. I look straight at him and I said it looks like you want to kiss me. And then that’s where he let the can of worms out that he wasn’t serious about looking for a date or looking for a romantic date; he was just trying to get his mind off of another girl. And he called me his plan B. We left it ended as that.
However I was getting into a brand new hobby and I was enjoying myself exploring it so I crossed paths with him again. We talked about that night and I explain to him that well it’s not my problem that you’re still stuck on a girl that doesn’t like you.
So from time to time I guess seeing him at this place where I was enjoying my brand new hobby. One day I took a chance at it and I tried it out. He came up to me at the end of the night and was like well that’s cool I totally missed it I wish I could have seen that. And was so eager to talk to me. I kept in very small chat and did not say much more than that.
One night I saw a post from my friend that she wanted to hang out at the local bar that we normally hang out at so I joined in. The guy was there because my friend is also a mutual friend of ours. We started talking again about that date where he called me Plan B. I was in a good mood that day so I kept talking about my costume ideas and stuff that I was working on. And he kept talking about how he hasn’t had sex since September. He said he said basically he couldn’t focus on finding a relationship with somebody because he haven’t had sex since then. Any kept talking about how they have somebody as pathetic as he could not find a date. I was trying to be really nice and tell him that he’s stopped talking about himself like that and that there are women that would appreciate him. I even told him and reminded him that he passed me by because he was crushing a girl that does not like him. He had four drinks that night and he started talking about how he would like it if I came over to his place afterwards. Which I thought this was interesting because he refused to kiss me on our second date. He was like well it’s different now because I’ve had 4 drinks tonight. I thought maybe he was giving me a chance so I went with him to his apartment. It was a good night I enjoyed myself and it seemed like he enjoyed himself as well. He asked me afterwards if I had any plans this weekend and explain to him that most likely I’m working and put however I have Sunday off. He said that he had plans on Sunday and could not do anything. Have we both came up with the conclusion that Tuesday will work and that there was event that night at our local bar.
However time passed by and we were texting with each other. I went to the event on Tuesday. He has previous told me that he had a previous engagement before the event. He has not text me to let me know that he was running late and finally he text me about 30 minutes after the event has started. Which was basically that he was too exhausted and too tired to come. I can’t fault him for that however when I asked him okay when’s the next time you want to get together then.
“Good question. I’m going out tomorrow night, I have an out of town show Thursday night. A date Friday night and out of town show Saturday night and the ______ Sunday night. This has been one crazy week. You going to be at _____ Monday?”
This is where i knew he was lying to me and he just wanting a casual encounter. This threw me into a tailspin I was so upset when I saw this text. I had to leave the place that I was at because it actually upset me really bad. I called him out on it. He admitted that he did not want to meet up with me again and that he was sorry for misleading me but God it was so horrible. So because of this event I haven’t been able to go to the Hobby that I’ve been enjoying. Because he’s there and I don’t want to run into him right now. He text me was like well I know it’s going to be awkward but you shouldn’t stop just because of me. But I can’t stand the idea of being in an awkward situation and it’s not fair to me to be awkward because of this. I learned from this stuff pretty much any guy that starts talking crap about how they haven’t had sex or they feel so down and out about them self and they have self pity I’m going to be like f*** you and your self-pity and keep me out of it.
I don’t know if I’m going to go back to do the hobby however I do know that I should take a break from it and give myself some time to think about it. I am learning more and more that guys do not know how to f****** read. They don’t read my profile then ignore everything that I write and you know they complain all the time that women are hard to understand. However they have a woman here that’s willing to spell it out to them but yet they don’t freaking read.

Matching Services an Arm and Leg

Okay, I was curious and wanting to see what a matching services would in tell. What I found out is that it cost way more than what I make in a month. It sounded good when I talk to the lady on the phone. However she wouldn’t tell me then how much it cost to do her services. However I was not impressed with her responses when I was telling her about my ex-husband and my divorce her expressions on her face comes across as judgmental. She reminded me of the many people that were very judgmental when I was going through my divorce when I was in North Carolina. I had a sinking feeling that she probably couldn’t match me up with somebody that I like anyway, not the way she was judging me right there. She kept asking me why don’t you fight for your kids. I was getting really annoyed by it because guess what I’ve already looked into all of that and I don’t want to actually explain myself to another person about why I can’t get my kids back.
After asking her several times how much does it cost to use her services she decided to bring out the cost chart. She say, “you get a discount.” I am like okay that is cool so what is the cost. Well if you want unlimited service then it will cost $6,000 – $800 so the total of $5200.00. And our cheapest is 1325.00 where you will get three encounters. I think I have to pass on this because that 1325 is my income for an whole month.  That will not do for me. And with that note I left the office as soon as possible. If i had that kind of money to blow on dating services,  I think a wiser investment would be to buy a sybian. Now, they are about $2000.00 and would give better results than a dating services.  I know for one thing, i would be pretty happy.